retirement?

The passing of our dear friend Heather MacAllister, at age 38 from ovarian cancer, gives new meaning to the word retirement. In some ways, it is a miracle any of us have made it this far. The baby boomers were the first generation to grow up after "the bomb", and we all knew that the world could end at any second. Not that I really believed it would, but somehow knowing that it could prevented me from starting things that took more than 25 seconds to finish. Hence, for that reason, among others, I finished college when I was 40. Why go to college when the world was going to end?

Yet, here were are. Several of my close friends turned 60 last year, and there is a whole group of us 1953-ers in my circle. Since I was born on January 1, 1954, I throw my lot in with them.

I never thought I would stop wanting to go out to events that start at 9 PM. At parties, we now sit around and talk about menopause. We joke about "how did this happen", while appreciating the wisdom we have hard-earned. My line on turning fifty is, "All those things that used to bother you? You can't remember what they are."

About a year ago, in the middle of Heather's battle with cancer, we were all talking about knee replacement surgery. I turned to Heather and said, "That's what happens when you get old." Her response was, "I'll take it."

Heather was a brilliant choreographer, fabulous dancer, and one of the biggest personalities I've ever had the pleasure to meet. She gave us so much. She will be sorely missed and vividly remembered.

where do you draw the line?

Men…where do you draw the line?

Literally.

That has become a real question these days, not just a figure of speech. I know people have been doing dissertations on "gender" for decades, and if I hear the phrase "gender is fluid" one more time, I might get sick.

But it is fluid. It is a continuum. But where do you draw the line? And why do we have to?

People of my generation, the baby boomers, are constantly put down by the younger set for being so square, so old-school because we believe in the binary code of gender. But do we really?

Many of us came out during the second wave of feminism. "The Man" was the oppressor, the enemy, the one who had more power, the one who made more money than us. Actually, that part is still true.

Just yesterday I heard on KPFA that over a life-time of work, a woman will earn between $500,000 and $2,000,000 less than a man with an equivalent education. The higher the educational level, the higher the disparity. Interesting, somehow I thought it would be the other way around.

These days, so many women are becoming men, many of them very young. Is becoming a man through surgery and hormones actually buying into the binary code of gender more than just moving though the world as a big ol' butch?

Many organizations, including the dyke march committee of which I am member, have struggled over definitions regarding gender. No men. Women only. Where do you draw the line?

making music

I've always said that music is my primary form of communication. Oh, I enjoy writing and sitting around chewing the fat as much as the next guy, but there is nothing like being in a room with some folks, and everyone is in the groove, and the bass is the heart-beat, and the drums are the pulse, and the horns are screamin', and that sweet guitar is just wailing away. That's living!

And if you add on top of that a funky singer who can really get down, I'm lost in the ecstasy.

Then there's playing out. Watching people dance to your music is the ultimate high. They're feeding off you, and you're feeding off them, and the spiral keeps getting higher and higher. That's what it's all about.

And you don't have to be Charles Mingus or Chick Corea to get there. Ever heard of the One-Note Samba? Don't be shy. Just grab an instrument and start noodling.